A New Year

1 01 2016

I’ve been working on this post for 3 months. Writing random thoughts.  It’s all pretty much incomplete paragraphs; thoughts and memories of the last year.  And as I was reading it, I realized it was all about my brother.  Not that it’s a bad thing; he’s just very much on my mind.  See, today is not just New Year’s Eve.  Today is his birthday.

I had a long post about “firsts”.  All of them were the firsts that we had this year without Ryan.  Holidays.  Family birthdays.  Random get-togethers and vacations.  I was reviewing what I had written, and it was all sad.  And I started thinking, not everything this year has been bad.  Sure, this took front and center in what I think about with 2015.  But what about the good?  I had a son this year.  I’m making moves in my job that are amazing for my future career.  My best friend is cancer free.  We bought a new house and new car, and went on vacations.  I lost a bunch of weight and am the healthiest I’ve been in 5 years.  I got to really start the magic of Christmas for my own daughter.

I’ve always tried to live my life while not focusing on the bad things that happen or dwelling on the regrets that I may have.  Bad things always happen; find a way to deal with it and move on.  That doesn’t exactly apply when you lose a family member.  I miss my brother tremendously, and I always will.  And it has been very difficult to not have his passing at the front and center of every event that happens.

So I am not going to post all of those.  Perhaps some day in the future I will expand on what I had written and make them into separate posts.  For now, I am going to conclude and just say that 2015 was a good year.  My son was born, and watching him grow into his own personality has been so much fun.  And my daughter is such a great big sister, even as she continues to develop her independence.  My wife is an amazing person, whom without I would not have been able to accomplish so many things in the last 8 years.

So to you, all my friends and family that might read this, I hope that you will be able to find and remember the good things that have happened to you.  And if even for hour tonight, I hope you can focus on that.

I wish you all a happy new year.  The best to everyone in your endeavors and may the best of your today’s be the worst of your tomorrow’s.